The program

In the very beginning, there’s not a lot of difference between the treatment programs. The first day is an intake process, and some of it’s not going to feel normal, especially if you’ve never been in this situation before.

Expect your belongings to be collected and searched when you arrive, all of them, before you’ve had a chance to settle in. Some programs search the car. Some hold on to phones and laptops. It feels invasive, and most people arrive without any warning that it’s coming.

Here’s the thing to remember when you’re angry about it: everything that’s being done is because somebody before you managed to figure out a way to break the rules. They’re searching the car because people hid things in their cars instead of their bags. They’re taking phones and laptops because people used them to act out with. None of it’s aimed at you.

Not everyone is there for the same reason, and not everyone is at the same stage in their problem. There are people who will go to any lengths to keep a steady supply of alcohol or other drugs, or a way to act out, at any cost. That may not describe you, but the rules are written with those people in mind, and they’re there for everyone’s safety, yours included.

For a residential stay, it’s often two to a room. And the whole thing runs on a strict schedule: you eat breakfast at seven, you eat lunch at noon, you eat dinner at five, then you go to this activity, then that activity. Everyone does the same thing at the same time, and it doesn’t feel normal for a lot of us.

Usually one day of the week is long, and it’s designed to be longer than the rest. There’s usually an easier day in there somewhere too, where the last activity is something more relaxing. Some programs use meditation, some use yoga.

It’s not just length. The 28-day programs are very nuts and bolts: you’ve never been in 12-step or recovery programs before, so here are the basics, here are the steps, and we’re going to go to a lot of meetings and find out what those meetings are like.

The longer programs, the 60 and 90 day ones, start to tackle the emotional and traumatic underpinnings that go along with addiction, or disruptive behavior, or acting out. And if a longer program has a professionals track, that track goes a little deeper and a little higher level, as far as introspection and thinking about the issues that are driving our problems.

I don’t know, because I don’t think there’s an easy section. If you’re in a longer program, it certainly gets easier later, but that’s mostly because you’ve been there a while, you know what every day is like, and there’s nothing new coming your way.

Either way, there’s going to be work. Assignments, real ones. My first time in treatment, 94 days, I hadn’t done that much work since medical school.

Most of us are going to go in there with: this isn’t going to work for me, that isn’t going to work for me, I don’t do group therapy. I’m not doing art therapy. I’m not, I’m not, I’m not.

We all followed our own plans our whole lives, and in some ways that was good. It got us ahead in our professional lives. But when it comes to our personal lives, our plan got us here, right where you are now. The proof is that our plan hasn’t worked, and now that you’re in a treatment program, or about to go to one, perhaps it’s time to try someone else’s plan.

One treatment modality, something they call experiential therapy, was the one I was most against the day I arrived. By the end, it turned out to be one of my favorite experiences. The main thing with all of this is to try to keep an open mind and participate as much as possible.

Everyone goes through a little bit different process. If you’re in for a long time, toward the end you may start having therapeutic leaves, meaning you can go home for the weekend and come back at the end of it, to start practicing the things you’re learning back where you actually live.

And on the day you leave, there’s going to be a discharge summary of some kind. Coming home is the next page, and it’s the one I’d read twice.

Whether yours is 28 days or 90, and whether it has a professionals track. Whether you’ll have a roommate. What happens to your phone. What it costs, and how much of it insurance covers. And what happens back at work while you’re gone.

Those genuinely vary. The search on day one, the schedule, and the work don’t vary much at all.