The first meeting

It’s a very austere room and a big table, and usually you wind up sitting there for at least five to ten minutes by yourself, which is somewhat nerve-wracking the first time you go in there. These days, this may include a Zoom call instead.

Then it’s two or three people: one or both case managers, and their medical director. Sometimes it’s just the case managers the first time around. The meeting itself usually runs an hour or two.

Basic information about what happened.

If that sounds thin for a meeting this frightening, that’s the point. The hard part of this room isn’t what they ask. It’s what you say, and what you believe is coming next.

Lying. Any lying or minimizing of what happened that’s actually bringing you there.

Don’t say you made a stupid mistake and drove after drinking one night if you already know you have a problem with alcohol and are drunk almost every night. Don’t say you just smoked a little marijuana this one time when you are going to test positive for 3 or 4 substances. This is the time to start getting honest. There is nothing you’re going to tell them that they haven’t heard, and usually they’ve heard worse.

The first phone call page says this too, and it matters even more here, because this room is where the real conversation happens. These programs are on our side, basically. They’re there to try and help us. It may not always seem that way, but they are, and the fastest way to ruin that relationship is to lie to them or skip over facts that are going to come out anyway. It always puts them in a better position to advocate for us if they know everything from the beginning.

Typically we walk into that first meeting, or out of it, believing this is going to go one of two ways. I’m going to get assigned to a therapist and start doing therapy, and that’s going to be the end of it. Or I’ll go to some sort of class they recommend, and that’s going to be the end of it.

That’s not true. Almost 100% of the time, they’re going to recommend an evaluation somewhere and give a list of potential places for that evaluation to occur.

If nobody has told you that yet, I’d rather you hear it here than in the room.

The list, in your hand. A handful of places you’ve probably never heard of, with not much information about any of them beyond the names.

Scheduling the evaluation starts with you. You’ll have the opportunity to call the places on the list and get it set up.

If you sign anything at this stage, it’s usually not the participation agreement. It’s more likely release forms, so the program can obtain information. The monitoring contract page walks through the order the paperwork actually arrives in.

The evaluation is the next page, and it’s worth reading before you call anywhere.

Which of the places on that list fits your situation. How soon you can be seen. How you’ll pay for it, and what your insurance will cover. What happens with work between now and the evaluation.

Those genuinely vary, by person, by profession, and by how you got here. The room, the people in it, and getting handed that list doesn’t vary much at all.